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2. There may be a Mrs Claus (Fag Hag), but why did we not hear about the kids? Was he in the closet to fit into our narratives?
3. Santa hangs out with his elves all the time. Yup, other shorter, smaller beardless men, possibly enjoying it. Elves don’t put up much resistance.
4. Any real man would have meat and beer. Many gay men prefer milk and cookies.
5. He magically enters the chimney to deliver presents. When he comes out, he still looks pristine and clean…